In the words of Chumbawamba ( I just love saying that name out loud…Chumbawamba!)
“I get knocked down but I get up again, you are never gonna keep me down.”
Resilience, in my opinion is attained through developing and nurturing a series of building blocks… strong and sturdy and often referred to as the 7 C‘s.
Control, Competence, Coping, Confidence, Connection, Character and Contribution.
Working with children day in, day out, allows me to teach them the tools in building resilience. It is a hard skill to master, even now as an adult I need to remind myself of how to be resilient, especially during times of serious adversities, like we are facing now.
Control – Realising the things you can and can’t control. Understanding that you are in charge of your own thoughts, words and deeds and not being frustrated by others. This is key in understanding our place in the world.
Competence– realising and celebrating the things that you are good at and can manage well.
Coping– Understanding the things that you can do to remain calm or cope in situations- whatever they may be. My go to is a run or hitting the boxing circuits…meditation or walking the dog. Exploring other alternative coping mechanisms too can be a good way of building resilience.
Confidence– Take on board any positive comments when you do overcome obstacles- don’t dismiss them. Build self-confidence by celebrating the small wins- possibly through reflection time in the form of journaling or gratitude diaries.
Connection– In my opinion, this is the biggy! Having a strong connections with the right people. Surrounding yourself with positive people in the right environments. Make sure you are able to express your feelings without fear of judgement. That you feel safe.
Character-Explore your own values and morals and stand by them, even in difficult situations. Know who you are. I must admit this is a difficult thing to develop when there are so many different influences as we grow and develop as a person, but it is essential. Integrity is essential.
Contributions– Making positive contributions to your community and a wider world can give a huge sense of purpose and knowing that the world is a better place because of your positive actions and role within it ( No matter how big or small).
In developing these building blocks, resilience is grown and facing challenging situations can be overcome. Don’t get me wrong, bad things hurt. Horrible situations are like body blows to the stomach. It’s how we overcome these things that is key – how we take the lessons learnt and how we grow . Resilience is the food for personal growth, therefore teaching ourselves and our young people how to do it properly is key. Yes you “do” resilience- you get back up when you get knocked down, you re-assess and try to avoid being knocked down again. You surround yourself with people who empower you and pick you up. You “do” resilience and you do it with all your might. That’s how you survive.